Mr. Fix It.

I must be sleeping well because I am awakening with a racing mind these days. 

Two main things on my mind this morning. Completely different, but related in my mind for reasons just coming into focus for me. I may or may not share those with you.

Over the last couple of weeks I havre written a few times regarding emotions clouding judgement. A couple of snippets from those posts: 

Never allow what you feel to lead you to forget what is real.

Facts over feelings.

Same facts, different interpretations

Do not allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence.

Ever see an athlete become angered and turn in an amazing performance?

Ever see an athlete become angry, lose his composure and perform below her/his norm?

What I have observed is otherwise bright, intelligent, in some cases extremely intelligent, folks who seemingly have allowed their judgment to become impaired by emotions. I count myself among that number as I have had to battle through emotions to keep my eye on God. 

This world is bigger than myself, but there is nothing more important than my personal relationship with God. And my relationship with God, while similar to your relationship with God, might also be quite different; we are all unique by God’s design so our relationships with God will be unique as well. 

Differences ... sigh ... we become so judgmental and angry. I’m not sure which comes first and it might be a chicken / egg type debate. I do know this, it is wrong to allow our negative emotions to blind us to the good in the ones who anger us. 

I fixed the electric chain saw the other day. It took several hours and I wound up completely disassembling the thing. This was no small fete on my part as electricity scares me like little else does. 

I had to figure out what was wrong with it and if I am honest that was a trial and error process. I mean, I knew what wasn’t working properly, but why? 

I identified the part, but then couldn’t easily access it. In fact, I had to disassemble the entire tool to get to the part that needed attention. Even then, I did not immediately recognize what was wrong, only that whatever was wrong was centered on this part. 

After a bit, I reasoned it out that a small piece of the particular part had become displaced from where it should have been. I took a chance at breaking it completely and was able to return it to its rightful place. 

Then the fun began.

I had to reassemble it and I’m a bit like the mechanic in the movie Doc Hollywood - I can fix things and get them back together, but might have a part or two left over. Not this time though! 

I awoke thinking of my Grandmother‘s alarm clock. I was staying with her one summer and her alarm clock broke. It was one of the non-electric hand wound clocks of the day. I asked if I could try to fix it and was granted her approval to do so. 

Well, I was amazed at the amount of parts inside that alarm clock. Gears galore! It was a rainy day and I was stuck inside so at the kitchen table I sat studying that machine trying to figure out how it was supposed to work and at what point in the process it had broken down. 

Much as with the electric chain saw, there was a part that had become slightly dislodged. I cleaned some dirt from it, put it back in place and much to Grandma’s delight had fixed her alarm clock! 

Between the alarm clock and the electric chain saw there were many attempts to fix other items; some successful, some not. What I recall is the anger and frustration that would set in every single time something would break. 

Again, I don’t know if the anger came first or the frustration did, but both would be present in abundance. And if anyone was present wanting to offer advice or help? Oh my! They became the targeted outlet for my anger and frustration. I just couldn’t think straight. I was blinded by negative emotions and took those emotions out on anyone nearby irregardless of their role in the situation.

Over the years I have learned I need isolation when reasoning things out. My loved ones have also learned I need isolation when repairing things. Lol. I am most generally able to repair anything once I understand how it’s supposed to work and where in the process it has broken down. 

Maybe I should have been a mechanic? I don’t know, but there is a deep satisfaction that comes with a successful repair job. Just yesterday Christi (jokingly?) said I should open a repair shop. I had successfully gotten the lawnmower, edger, hedge clippers, power washer, electric chain saw and other man tools up and running over the last couple of weeks. 

This is something of a Blessing and a curse for me. I sometimes think I can fix anything if given the time to reason the situation out to clarity in my own mind. It doesn’t always work like that though. Sometimes the opportunity does not materialize or I miss the opportunity that does present itself. 

Sometimes I forget that adversity and struggles are a natural part of life and do not necessarily require my putting things right - someone else’s struggles are unique to them and can be a Blessing in disguise for them to work through on their personal journey ... their personal relationship building with God. 

The societal anger, frustration and unrest we are experiencing these days? I know the answer. The answer is God. Trust in God. Love one another. But this is not something I can do for anyone else as each individual is responsible for their own relationship with God and will be held personally accountable for it. I cannot control others relationship with God. 

I can do my best to influence others to put effort into their relationship with God by the life I live. When God shines through me outward to others, it can have influence on others. This is what I pray occurs with my family: that my life brings out the best in my wife and children. That through the ripple effect, we influence others in a positive manner. 

In the end, when my time in this body is over, did I leave those I encountered better for having crossed paths with me on our respective journey’s?