It’s personal choice

As a young man, I was a pretty negative individual. I remember thinking not many people liked me and to be honest, I didn’t like many people either.  I found some measure of temporary comfort in a series of girlfriends only to be broken back to negativity when those relationships ended. I found relief in individual sports and physical activity. In my late teens and twenties I found belonging and success in a church softball team.  Even after marrying the love of my life, I struggled for years with self esteem. I blamed others for my unhappiness and blamed myself for not being loved as I thought I should be loved.

I cannot pinpoint an exact time let alone a specific day or hour when I decided I had had enough.  A realization set in that it was up to me. What other people thought of me, just didn’t matter anymore. I could not control what others thought of me so ... f _ _ k ‘em all.  Yeah, I went overboard with it. 

In focusing on myself I began practicing positive self-talk before the phrase became a thing. The genesis of my change was probably a cross between the Bible and a book called “The power of Positive Thinking” by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale.  

Now, I was raised a Lutheran and attended church regularly. I served on the church council at a young age and as a worship leader. I read the Bible although I have never completed it cover to cover. So it was with The Power of Positive Thinking also: I never finished it. But the seeds were planted. 

I recall looking into the mirror and repeating positive thoughts to myself. Good thoughts.  It was practicing “ GIGO” or what goes in goes out at the most basic level and things began to change.  I began feeling better about myself and became happier. It’s been a long journey though. A long preparatory journey during which I became increasingly focused on positives in my life and in the world around me.  God, my faith in Him, were instrumental in this although attending church services became secondary. I chose to work on developing a personal relationship with God through consistent conversations with Him.  Prayer.

This past summer as I quite literally laid on what could have been my death bed I was able to remain amazingly calm about it all. I was focused on my relationship with God. Not in a pleading, save my life, sense. Nor by attempting to make a deal if only He would save my life. Rather, I focused on my many, many Blessings. I focused on family and friends who came to visit. And I focused on the doctors, nurses, technicians, STNA’s, Pharmacists, transporters, Food Service workers, cleaning folks. Anyone and everyone I came in contact with. I made sure to greet each one and learn their names. I inquired how their days were. I made sure to thank each and every one of them for their service on my behalf each and every time I consciously interacted with them. In short, I built relationships with them. And I did the best I could to work with each of them for my own benefit KNOWING that by being a cooperative patient I was also making their jobs a little easier and their days a little brighter. There came a point in many of these relationships when folks would stop by just to say “Hi” or linger a bit after they finished their routine with me to chat. It was good. It was POSITIVE.

Now, as the covid 19 pandemic grips Ohio, our country, our world ... I find a similar calmness in my approach. At this point I have been self-isolated for 20 days and our POTUS and Governor have indicated 30 more days of social distancing have been imposed.  Cool.  After nearly 3 weeks of practical experience in social distancing I feel prepared to do my part.

I don’t social distance though. I practice physical distancing. My wife is the only one I’ve had close proximity to and that for only the last 10 days. she has been out for groceries and medications, twice, I think.  We’ve sprayed and wiped everything purchased down. Just doing our part.  I’ve been active on social media. I share a positive inspirational quote message a day. I post happy funny memes and videos.I offer words of encouragement, thanks and love to those you follow me.  My aim is to be a beacon of God’s light in the darkness of these times.  It’s healthy for me and if I help even one other person it will be more than worth it to them ... and us, our world. 

I have learned that with positive self-talk comes a desire to express a Servant Heart as well.  Life is good. I know this dreaded covid 19 may take my life. I’m doing everything possible to prevent that from happening including blocking out negativity and actively practicing positivity. Give it a try! Make a positive difference in yourself and the world. That is something you can control. It’s a personal decision for each of you to make.  

Joy and Peace to you all.  

What if lessons learned from pandemic include these:

When faced with adversity we should always recognize the accompanying opportunities to learn. This pandemic is certainly the face of adversity these days, so what might we learn from our current situation?

* Home schooling aka distance learning is doable.
* Millions, maybe trillions,  of dollars could be saved by eliminating school buildings
* Washing hands is a necessary routine more so even than brushing teeth
* Essential workers do not include athletes or entertainers or actors, but do include gas station attendants, truck drivers, grocery store clerks, supporting healthcare workers, et. al. AND pay is adjusted accordingly.
* Having an adequate food supply on hand at home is a better idea than being reliant on restaurants
* Family First.
* Prayer is a daily necessity in every life and not just something to turn to when things are rough.
* There have been no reported mass shootings ... are guns quarantined as well as people?
* Gun and ammo sales are skyrocketing ... still no recent mass shootings reported.
* It’s okay to be nice to one another and help others out, not just in times of need, but always.
* It’s true that adversity reveals character: see politicians as proof of this. Some are proving leadership while others are trying to push radical agendas attached as “pork” to emergency relief bills.
* From crisis comes invention. What are the inventions to shape our future that will come from this crisis?
* I saw students designing and making 3 D masks for healthcare workers. How cool is that?
* Being on social media and doing TV interviews while you’re supposed to be at home is going to negatively impact your future job prospects.

Hotdog or filet mignon?

Would you rather enjoy a hotdog at a ball park or a filet mignon at a 5 star restaurant?

Obviously the choice is about more than just the food to be eaten.  One is not going to a 5 star restaurant to order a hotdog, right? And neither is one going to a ball park to enjoy a great steak dinner. Although ... lobster rolls at Fenway are a treat in their own right. Lol.

So, atmosphere and environment are important.  Ambience.

Comfort.

When sitting in a ball park enjoying a game a hotdog and cold beer are comfort foods.They are part of the experience that people look forward to and enjoy.  It’s one reason that Buck-a-Beer and Dime-a-Dog nights are so popular. The ball park experience is enhanced by eating a hotdog.

Yet, if a premier steakhouse were running a special for, say Five-a-Filet night they might draw a huge crowd, but the experience would be diminished, even tainted. Who wants to eat a nice steak dinner in a crowded noisy environment?  I do not. When I want a great steak dinner, I want the great service that comes with it in an elegant setting.

Can the same person who enjoys a hotdog at a ball park enjoy an elegant steak dinner a premier restaurant? Absolutely! I’m living proof to this.

As I sit in the comfort of my home, on this 48th day of self-isolation during the covid-19 pandemic, I have been considering comfort.  Right now, I am very comfortable in having had no close personal contact with anyone for 48 days.  I’m not particularly interested in eating a hotdog while watching reruns of sporting contests, but neither am I inclined to dim the lights, light candles and eat a self-prepared filet mignon either?

I am comfortable eating essentials in my own home. I have enough dry goods, canned goods and freezer meat to last a few weeks. Reruns on TV to watch and books to read. Music to listen to. Board games and cards.

My wife and I are empty nesters. We’ve been getting to know one another again these last couple of years. Some refer to this stage of life as dating their spouse once again. It’s true. I’m working harder on my relationship with my wife than I have in many years. Our children took tremendous amounts of energy and time to raise. They have each turned out very well. Our efforts on their behalf were worth it. That said, my wife and I took each other for granted during those years of raising a family.

Our arguments during those years were often grounded in a need of more attention from one another.  Still, we were comfortable if at times uncomfortably so.  Now, we are reestablishing an atmosphere of relaxed comfortability with each other ... and our individual selfs.

The relationship things that were important to us before we began having children are re-emerging. Different but better in most regards. A breath of fresh air breathing new life into our relationship. The child raising years were wonderful and neither of us would trade the experience for any other, but neither would we trade these years we are living in now.

There are times when a hotdog at a ball park is exactly what is called for and other times when an elegant meal at a fine restaurant is just the thing. We have had our hotdogs at the ball park and thoroughly enjoyed them. We enjoyed transitioning to more frequent trips to fine dining restaurants as our children grew into young mean. These days we been eating home cooking with takeout from varying local eateries once a week. Thankfully I’m a very good cook. Not trained at a culinary institute, but I apprenticed in my mother’s and grandmother’s  kitchens. Both were excellent cooks. We are eating healthy and well. Appropriately for the circumstances while eagerly anticipating a hotdog at a ball park and a filet mignon at a fine dining establishment.

Yellow Journalism

We learned about “yellow journalism” in junior high.  Basically, yellow journalism was described as deviating from unbiased reporting of facts and allowing the reader to form their own opinions to editorializing reporting of a story in a sensational and or exaggerated way.  Basic facts took a back seat to sensationalized headlines and controversial interpretation of “facts”.

Today’s media is wrought with practitioners of yellow journalism. It’s come to a point where most people do not trust the media any longer. Readership especially and viewership have declined. And when we do read or watch it is often the outlets that “spin” stories to our liking that we partake in.

Evermore, social media is replacing traditional media outlets as a primary source for news and information. Social media is often looked upon with more trust than traditional media outlets. The presumption that “if it’s on the Internet, it must be true” seems to be a rampant belief among many.

Watchdogs among us are quick to point out just because it’s on the Internet does not mean it’s true.  Wikipedia has been exposed as an unreliable on-line encyclopedia as it can be edited by anyone. And there are people who intentionally spread disinformation and misinformation for kicks or altruistic purposes.

It doesn’t stop there though. Once trusted fact checking Internet sites, such as Snopes,  FactCheck and PoliFact among others, are being exposed as biased and therefore unreliable in actual checking of facts. These sites are also moving towards editorializing “facts” for their users.

It seems traditional media has collectively decided it must stoop to social media level of reporting in order to compete and remain viable.  Pedaling influence is the prescribed business plan having replaced what was once an emphasis on gathering and reporting of facts.

Our education system shares some responsibility in the current state of media affairs as well with standardized testing being a primary culprit. Where once there was an emphasis on teaching HOW to think that emphasis has shifted to teaching WHAT to think. We are turning out sheep instead of free thinkers and our society is reflecting this.

Can we stem the tide and get things turned around?  I’m sure it’s possible, but I do not yet discern a viable path for doing so. Our society has become addicted to sensationalism and information being spun to fit a narrative.  How does one detoxify from this and maintain connectedness to what is going on in the world?

Covid 19

This is quite a predicament we find ourselves in. In a matter of a few months the Covid 19 pandemic has thrown the world as we knew it into a tailspin.  I am a firm believer that adversity brings opportunity for growth and have considered what opportunities this pandemic might be presenting us.

Random thoughts bouncing around inside my head concerning this:

* Do the Amish know what’s going on?  What about isolated tribes of people?
* What an opportunity for family time “stay-at-home” is!
* Well, maybe not so much for those in abusive situations?
* Opportunity abounds to help our fellow man
* What are spring breakers and other Covid 19 tough guys motivated by?
* What is behind this compulsion to hoard toilet paper?
* Not all opportunities are good: Take the slow response of Congress to this crisis.  Republicans want to bail out big business and Democrats want to use the quarantine of Republic Senators to gain a majority a push through a radical agenda attached as pork to the relief / stimulus bill.  Who the hell elected these people?
* It’s going to take the death by Covid 19 of a famous young person to wake spring breakers and Covid 19 tough guys to the fact we are all in this together.
* Is it even possible to get 100% compliance with stay-at-home?
* What exactly is an “essential” worker?  Have we become so reliant on restaurant food that someone making $4.20 an hour is an essential worker?
* If entertainers and athletes making millions of dollars are not essential workers why are they paid so much?
* Essential workers are people like ... those who work in utilities, healthcare and support personnel, first responders and their support personnel, farmers and food industry workers - packaging / logistics / distribution.  Others?
* President Trump has closed our borders and greatly restricted travel into the country. The United States are 50 individual states / countries that unite for the common good. As individual states, shouldn’t each be closing its own borders to all but essential commercial traffic? I’d be fine if Ohio closed its borders to this degree. Flatten the curve, ya know.
* There has been an increasing attack on our liberties these past couple of decades. Wow, that movement just went on steroids. What will we have lost long-term when the fog of Covid 19 finally clears?
* Spring cleaning has suddenly become a thing.
* We could all take lessons on social distancing from Adrian Monk.
* The Champion of Social Distancing has too be Big Foot .. or Nessie.  How would they fare pitted against one another in a contest of social distancing? How would such a competition be judged?
* The local basketball team was 25 - 0 and in regional play before their season was postponed indefinitely. Will they ever get to play it out?
* What about high school seniors missing out on prom, musical and drama performances, spring athletics, graduation. Poof! All gone ... maybe with no chance to recover them ... unless they are required to put adulthood on hold and attend high school another year?
* On-line learning is the wave of the future. It has arrived earlier than expected. A trial run for sure, but how long before it is “thee” thing?
* The age of social media has already eroded in-person social skills and certainly much of the civility in-person communication mandates. What will relationship building be like if we continue to withdraw from in-person interaction with one another?
* Society has become so accustomed to instant gratification the very notion it could take 18 months to fully develop a safe vaccine for Covid 19 seems unconscionable.
* What if Stay-at-home for 15 days becomes Stay at home for 15 months?
* Is Martial Law looming? Talk about diminishing liberties and freedoms? Is this what our Founding Fathers had in mind with the 2nd Amendment?
* Religious folks seem divided about the source of Covid 19. Some say God is benevolent and would not send a pandemic upon His people.  Have they forgotten the plagues of the Old Testament or the prophecies in Revelations?
* What if God is using this pandemic to “cull the herd”?  This disease seems to affect the old more severely than the young and the worlds population is aging. Maybe God is issuing a mass call to come home?
* For the atheists among us, maybe Mother Earth is at work here? Reports of air pollution greatly diminishing in Wuhan and the waters clearing in Venice due to quarantining. Hmm ... our planet is a living breathing thing, is she trying to heal herself?

I’m sure there will be more to follow.  Care to share yours?